Tuesday, July 18, 2006


Animal Cruelty

Old Scary does spark memories - Can't remember whether I have already dragged this one out of its quiet retirement or not. But - anyway - here goes.
A couple of colleagues were called to an "animal RTA" - caller said he had hit a cat whilst driving down a local road. He had stopped but the cat had disappeared. He thought it may be hurt as he was going at a fair speed on impact. Now according to the definition in the Road Traffic Act, hitting a cat is not one of the "recordable" accidents under statute therefore it did not have to be entered in all manner of long and complex forms and registers that were extant. So off the brave duo go with thoughts of an easy job - no paperwork !! Arriving in the vicinity they start a bit of a search down the side of the road - and sure enough they see a mangy, half blind sort of elderly cat staggering about on three and a half legs through the bushes. One of the good old boys says - "Poor old thing, I'll put it out of its misery", pulls out his trusty truncheon (in those days we had a "turned" wooden, polished truncheon with a leather strap !) then proceeds to "peg" it one, and, sure enough, poor old cat expires. Wraps it in old large evidence bag and puts into boot of panda, to take to local vet to "dispose" of. Thinking job done they were just about to take off when they were approached by a little old lady - "Have you seen my little old pussy?"
(exteremely crude, and extraneous comment removed) The boys reply in the negative.
At this point a young and fairly sleek cat staggers out of the bushes and collapses and dies infront of them - by the state of it, its obviously been in an accident. "This one?", one asks the old girl "No she says, Old pussy was a bit mangy, half blind and staggered about on three and a bit legs". Exit the boys stage left looking elsewhere and whistling innocently !!! Sorry - not seen it - Oooops ! She never did find it !
another police cover up

Have you heard the one about the guy who volunteered to look after the neighbours house while they were away. One day he went outside and saw that his dog had dug a hole under his side fence and was in the neighbour's yard. There were holes all over the yard, and to top it off, there was a torn up body of a white rabbit draping from the dog's mouth. The man was horrified, and thought how awful it would be if the little girl who lived next door found her pet in such a condition when she returned. Thinking quickly, the man filled in all the holes, excised the rabbit from the dogs jaws, washed it, sewed up the holes, blow-dried it's fur, and then laid the fluffy white body back in it's hutch, reclining sorrofully against it's waterbowl. He said to himself, "Yes, much better to think he died peacefully rather than being torn apart by a horrible dog!" Phew...
All was quiet after the neighbours return, until after a week, the man asked if everything went well with the holiday. "Yes, the holiday was wonderful. But when we returned we found some sick bastard had dug up our daughter's dead rabbit, made him up like Frankenstein, and posed him in the old hutch! Our daughter needed therapy!" Oooops!
nice one - great story ! - its unfortunate but us "service" types tend to have a graveyard sense of humour - if you don't laugh etc !
I'm sure I read a story recently about officers who were disciplined recently for dispatching a family dog or cat... oh the times.
Post a Comment

<< Home

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?