Thursday, September 01, 2005


Thoughts of Scaryduck

Today we went to a funeral in Bray She who must be obeyed's uncle had shuffled off the mortal coil and so we went back to Bray Church for the first time since we got married some 26 odd years ago - on the way home we decided to re-visit my old stamping grounds in Maidenhead.
The Six cross roads Gordon Road, All saints Avenue, St Marks Road, Judith's old School in Farm Road - the Place where we used to fly model planes up on the cricket pitch at Pinkneys Green,
past all the old pubs we used to go to, past the Thicket - where We used to go biking (see the original "Swiss Army Knife Story !!, and up past Temple Golf Course, and Hurley - Good Grief - they've removed the East Arms and the Black Boy has gone all politically correct ! On to Remenham ! - The hill down into Henley brought back memories of when my mate and I used to ride our old motorbikes from Maidenhead to Henley on a Sunday morning for a pint in the Angel or the Row Barge. We used to have several motorcycle cops in our area and it was guaranteed that we would come to their notice as we had done as much as we could to our bikes to make them into Norton Dominators, or Triumph Bonnevilles ( I had an old BSA 250cc C11G and Jimbo had a 350 matchless) We had put "Ace Clubman" handlebars on and invested in better exhaust pipes etc etc - to the point where, with a following wind, and going down hill (e.g. Remenham hill into Henley) we could reach speeds in excess of 50 mph - madness how can man breath at these speeds how can one control these snorting beasts - So, God bless him, one of the motor cycle cops, Angel by name, had followed us from Hurley and, being a fairly cunning sort of young tearaway I pulled away a bit and shouted to Jimbo - go down the hill like greased weasel shit and when we get 3/4 way down and, the important bit, before we get to the 30 mph signs,
brake like anything and we shall see, what we shall see. So bum in air and head down on tank down the hill we go - sure enough Angel gets his speed twin going and overtakes - waving us to slow down - he was obviously looking at us and not concentrating !! We braked like the "French Connection UK (or FCUK) and suddenly he realised that the right hander at the bottom was approaching and he was still at full "ramming speed" Har Har !! - How he got round the corner I'll never know but it was obviously a tribute to Police Motorcycle training !! Sparks everywhere and large black skid marks. Meanwhile, we had slowed down to a sedate 30 mph. He had nearly piled it into the bridge and was visibly shaken as we slowly cruised past the Wargrave turn (scaryduck country) and over the bridge to the High Street. We stopped up at the traffic lights and saw him approaching in the rear view mirrors. We went straight over the cross roads up to the Row Barge, and without looking left or right or at us he turned right towards Marlow !! Not long after he got me for "construction and use" offences (blown tail lamp bulb and seat not fitting correctly) But he knew Jimbo and I had had him well over and his attention was really only half hearted after that ! Strange but 20 years later I was a serving Police officer with his Son Bob, who was a really nice guy - even he admitted that his dad was a bit of a B****d in his youth

I hate that feeling when you feel like the bike is going to drop. The sinking feeling when your heart drops to your feet and you have a lump in the throat... "I do apologise officer, are you going to write me a HORT1? I could always hand it in the next time i'm in the station doing paperwork", followed by a grin...
Yep and always with the old BEESER it seemed about to fall over ! The first Jap C**p bikes were just as bad but the old police speed twin was a real terror - the single down tube frame was apparantly made out of old coat hangers
Excellent story.. You would never get away with doing that to a copper now-a-days would you?

You would be hauled before a judge before you can say twin cams and charged with attempted murder or some such. You would then be sent to spend some time in one of HMP's.
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