Tuesday, June 14, 2005


Onwards and Upwards

One of the things that has happened since I fell off me perch and have spent a lot of the time sitting about in fields, is that I have thought a lot about the past and have written a few ideas down for future blogs. As I thought when I first started blogging I would try and emulate Scary and others in that I would re-live silly things from my long and varied past. Having spent twelve years seving her Majesty as a soldier, and then over twenty years in the Police and (up to now at least) as a Civilian in a Police Control Room, I have seen and done many stupid and in retrospect ,probably funny things. At least they amused me. Like the time we were banished from El Adem Air Base in Libya. We had come in from a six week trip into the boonies. We had drunk no alcohol for this period and had considerable thirsts (throat drier than an Arab camel driver's flip flop). We stormed the bar - unfortunately the RAF were sending some families home and it was full of Crab Air types say goodbye to their loved ones. After the first few pints - several not hitting the sides on the way down we degenerated into the usual squaddie pastimes of "Dam Busters" (trying to drop coins clenched in the buttocks into a pint glass) and the dance of the flaming A****** holes (clenching lighted news papers between the naked buttocks)
Zulu Warrier etc (reading this its weird how buttock fixated we appeared to be in those days!!!)
Enter the Canteen Cowboy (duty NCO) - Exit the Canteen Cowboy (his hat pulled firmly down over his eyes) Cue the Lady Bar manager -
"Follow me outside boys, I've lit the Barbie and we can sit out under the stars and eat and drink in comfort"
Six weeks in the Ulu - not only no beer but no females either. Cue raging male hormones
Gulible or what - outside we troop - Its very dark when the sun goes down in Libya
Slam, slam ,slam ,slam . We appear to be on our own in the desert (again !) The crabs had locked the doors of the NAAFI. It sinks in that we are not going to get back in - and to make matters worse when we stagger back to our camp area we find that the Canteen Cowboy has arrived before us and upshot being we are "Banned from the Club" for the remainder of our stay.
Luckily it was only three days !! Daft as brushes we were. I wonder why they have closed most of the Police Clubs now ???
Feeling a bit better
Mystic Mog

Er... can we have some sort of glossary? What's a ULU, what's a canteen cowboy, what's a police club? And who got to drink the pint where you'd all put coins which had been wedged somewhere unpleasant? Good to have you back!
Aaaah - The Canteen Cowboy is the duty Non-commisioned officer, usually a Sergeant or Corporal who is responsible to the Duty Officer (a Lieutenant or Captain) for maintaining good order and military discipline in the bars and clubs on camp - wears a red sash and parade uniform. A police Club is usually (or was) a Home office canteen which is not subject to licencing law and opens and closes serving alcohol when required - the pint glass is empty and the losers - other participants pay for the winner's pint ! got it ? - good !! sorry about the jargon
x mog
Welcome back. I hope you are feeling better. I trust the Range Rover is on the road to recovery too...
The ulu is the great outdoors.

"throat drier than an Arab camel driver's flip flop", thats a great one. Will remember that.
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