Tuesday, May 17, 2005


Three Legged Field Voles

There are days when I feel that I'm moving with the speed of a three legged field vole - or with all the blinding speed of a striking sloth. This led me to think of more comparisons - for instance as fast as greased weasel s**t. As organised as a box of frogs or "No I haven't got one but I have a photograph of a ham sandwich and a picture of Nelson" ? Now where did that come from - or even "Greater than chocolate bullfrogs". Sayings from our youth ! "The greatest thing since sliced armadillos ???" My mind is beginning to function again - I think that when depression strikes the first thing that goes is any sort of sense of humour - nothing seems funny and re-reading archive logs doesn't help - as I am usually the world's oldest teenager and a teenage sense of humour grates against large dark cloud which hangs over my head - Howver I am researching getting photos on to the blog and have joined "Hello" - just need to find a photo to put on it now. Am also trying to set up a web page for she who must be obeyed's pictures
Its called Palujia Pictures if anyone can find it. Am off the "Oggie land" for three weeks now so it you are in Looe in Cornwall - look for a Range Rover (G14 MOG) and there I will be
getting less gloomy

Tuesday, May 10, 2005


The Plague and I

With apologies to Betty McDonald who wrote such wonderful books ! She suffered from TB which was a real killer in those days whereas all I'm suffering from is lack of sleep ! However, the Doctor is taking it seriously so I am too. I am now waiting for an appointment with the sleep clinic - last time was dreadfull but this time I think I am really going to try and get the operation, so that my breathing tube stays open and I don't keep waking up choking ! - Have been out in the caravan looking at fields. This is a real help and soothes my troubled waters a bit. I can just sit in the awning and watch the birds and animals even in the rain - Again it is very soothing to hear the patter of rain on canvas. Have now managed to put quite a lot of my CDs on to my ipod - have over one hundred discs on and still only scratching the surface (still got 33Gb out of 40 left). Did I mention that We bought one of the BOSE docking stations for it which turns it into a full blown Hi Fi - Have taken this out in the caravan and as they say music soothes the savage breast and when I feel about to explode an eclectic mix of Wagner, bluegrass, folk, Mozart etc does it every time. Have been signed off work for another 4 weeks so will be down in Looe in Cornwall with the van for the next 3 weeks - up your transom me handsome - as they say. Will try and blog when able but don't have lap top !
still gloomy

Monday, May 02, 2005


Feeling Grim

I wasn't going to winge on like a lot of blogs but it has been getting really bad recently. I just can't seem to get my act together. Getting more and more depressed at work and going into a declining spiral - which ended with me only just getting an effective grading on my yearly appraisal where I have been highly effective and doing my job really well. Trouble was I really could not disagree with my boss - I really haven't been effective these last few months. I suffer from a condition called sleep aponea - this means that my windpipe collapses and I snore really badly culminating in stopping breathing - I went to a sleep clinic at the Churchill hospital in Oxford where I spent the night wired up to all sorts of machines. Apparantly I woke up over 350 times during the night and stopped breathing at one point for over a minute. The overall effect is that I am always bone tired. I have started getting really bad tempered and edgy- and if I stop moving for any length of time I fall asleep - even at work. I was given a pump with a face mask to force air into my lungs but even when I force myself to wear it (it's very uncomfortable) I find that I have pulled it off when I wake up. So the doctor has signed me off for a few weeks to try and sort my slef out . No drinking alcohol, more exercise, less food etc
So I have been out in my caravan in a field at Moreton in Marsh just "sitting" and trying to feel a bit better - not much blogging for a while but there you go.

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