Wednesday, December 22, 2004
How to Give Bad Advice
“Well”, says I. “What I would do when I heard one coming, would be to hide behind a tree and when they came past, I would stick my walking stick through the front wheel of the bike. That would give them a shock!!”
Having given the old chap some food for thought I resumed my steady 2mph peregrinations through God’s wonderful creation. Later that week I’m in the High Street, when a call comes through on the bat phone
“To the woods, it cries!” “No, No, I’ll tell the vicar” – Sorry wrong joke!
“To the woods” it cries, “There’s been an accident, Ambulance attending” So girding up of the loins, and full ramming speed on the trusty velocipede, I make my way to the woods. “Good oh”, thinks me medics have got here first as I can see the blue lights of the ambulance twinkling. “What’s the score?” – says I the paramedic is working on what looks like one of my little biker chums
“Broken arm. Several ribs and lacerations to both legs, and it looks like his bike is a write off”. “What the hell did you hit?” I ask the poor little wounded soldier, as he lays there groaning. “I didn’t hit nothing”, he replies with the council house grammar of his forbears. “Some old geezer was hiding behind a tree and as I rode past he stuck a stick in me front wheel, and I went right over the top!!”
Exit stage left pursued by a bear !!
Luckily he kept stum about me telling him - worked like a charm though !